1. I think that my sense of humor often hurts me in reaching out to people. I don't have a bad sense of humor, or a dirty sense of humor, but my sense of humor can often be sarcastic and I believe that I often offend people without really wanting or meaning to.
2. I have been told recently that I come across as arrogant and if that is true than I would definitely like to change that. I truly don't think of myself as better than anyone else and I really don't feel that I am above others. I am on the look out for this habit in myself so that I can make sure that I don't do this anymore.
3. I have a VERY difficult time in trusting other people. This is very obvious to me because this is something that I feel everyday. I believe that the reason for my lack of trust in others is due to how I was raised, and because of the amount of betrayal that I have experienced in my life. I want to get better at trusting others so that I can build deeper and closer relationships with other people. I currently only trust about 5 people in this world and I would like to be able to trust so many more than I currently do.
4. I feel as if I am very demanding of my friends and of other people. I think that a lot of this is because of how demanding I am of myself and I would like to become more carefree towards my friends and myself. I don't want to push others away and therefore miss out on their great friendships because of my being demanding.
5. I am a very insecure person. I am really going to open up the vulnerable can on this one by saying things that I am insecure about: my weight, I feel as if I don't have any friends, I don't really feel as if I have accomplished anything in my life, I have yet to influence the world in the way that I would like to, I feel as if no one truly loves me (but God), I find that I find myself to be unworthy of love (but from God, I know He loves me), I don't really have any talents worth mentioning, there are things in life that I would love to do but I can't really do them now... Just to name a few. Please do not respond with things that are supposed to make me feel less insecure. I am not doing this blog to fish for compliments but I am doing this blog to be as sincere and real as I can be.
6. I have some phobias in my life that really affect my living and I let these phobias affect my life. I really wish that I could overcome these, but they are a huge thorn in my side and I have lacked the strength to defeat them.
7. I have really let things get me down this year and that is probably my deepest regret. As a Christian I wish that I would have been a much stronger person than I have been this year and I feel that I could have accomplished so much more had I had a more positive demeanor and attitude this year. As a Pastor I do not feel as if I have been the persevering role model through problems that I should have been, even if not too many people have been aware of the problems that I have faced.
8. I often wish for things that I don't have and I let these things get me down. I'm not jealous, or covetous, but I do get down on myself when I think of how I don't have this thing or that thing. I wish that I had a family (children, closer blood relatives), or a job that I felt called to, or more friends, or enough money to pay all of my bills, or a better car for my wife that would be able to pass the inspection that was due on it two months ago, or a closer relationship to God that it seems to me that other people have that I seem to be lacking.
9. My wife says that I am a very judgmental person. I do not think that I am, but I do respect her opinion enough to believe that this is something that I just don't realize about myself. I don't want to prejudge people because there is a lot that I might miss out on who a person truly is by doing so.
So far these are the only things that I could come up with. If you have any comments that might be able to help me than please leave feedback. If there are other things that you think of that you believe that I should work on these please let me know. If you would like to be anonymous I understand and all you have to do is put anonymous and even I would be unable to find out who you are. If you are unable to come up with anything than I ask that you would please remember me in your prayers and I ask that you would pray that I improve as a person due to this endeavor.
Sincerely,
Chris R. Gordon
5 comments:
Chris, it takes a big man to be honest about his flaws. Shakespeare was right when he penned "this above all, to thine own self be true." "Getting real" with ourselves is not just an important step, but should be an on-going process to check ourselves to see where we let down ourselves, others, and particularly God. It's something we all do, with the goal of being transformed into what God wants us to be. For many of us, it's a long road; but, I think it also is just that much more rewarding to see how far along God has brought us. As the parable teaches, it is the man who is forgiven the most who feels the greater joy. May that be your inspiration, and may you see the hurdles as opportunities. You may not clear every one the first time, but when you look back, you'll realize how far you've come.
This is a truly amazing young man. I am blessed to know him and honored to call him my friend. He has helped my son when he was troubled and he is a Godsend to the youth everywhere. He touches everyone's heart that he comes in contact with, and for him to be so honest with all his friends on myspace really shows how strong a person he is.
Chris,
Phillipians 1:6: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Take heart.
Brent
Don't let what others think of you get you down. Only what GOD thinks is what really matters. i know that i love you and so does GOD. you are to hard on yourself sometimes, but you are a wonderful husband, friend, pastor, mentor.You are a good influence on others and you have made an impact on those around you. i am part of your family by the way:)There are alot of things that are not fair in life, but we just keep praying and when the time is right GOD will reward us.
This was something I expected you to put here. And what I found was exactly as I expected. Many reasons why you are the wonderful man you are today. You have always been harder on yourself than anyone else could be. Yes... you have made mistakes... but you were supposed to! It's growing up... learning right from wrong. Developing judgement... integrity. You have to HAVE honor to give it... and you do daily... in your devotion to your family & church. Son... once again I have to say... you should be a little nicer to yourself! You're a great person! (Now DON'T go getting a big head either! Your brothers know where you live!)
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